As I sit here tonight, actually early morning my emotions are running every which way. If anyone had told me that I would outlive the love of my life, I would have said they were crazy. All the events leading up to her death, still to this day blow my mind, here was a intelligent, hard working, person who would do anything for anyone, her purpose in life was to sing and make people happy, she soo enjoyed what she was doing, she loved her family, she loved her friends, yet, she let her guard down to allow one person into her life that was playing a game with her, a dangerous game, and she lost. Not a day goes by that I don't think what could I have done to prevent all that happened. I could have or should have insisted that she listen to me, she soooo believed every word this other person said to her, he feed her sooo much bs, if he had just been honest with her, instead of feeding her what she wanted to hear, she was a strong person, who could have taken the truth, instead lie after lie, she paid the ultimate price for his little game, he's still alive, laughing and enjoying his life with his wife, family, while those of us who knew her, get another year to celebrate her life, and celebrate we will, as in years before we will all gather and remember our Bronx girl, and I will leave a single rose, and shed my tears, then join her family and friends and put another year behind us.

Just to be with youuuuuu, just to be with you, there is nothing I wouldn't do just to be with you. I'd climb a mountain, sail the sea, I'd go a thousand miles upon my knees I'd find a rainbow and take it from the sky I'll be a slave till the day I die........I love you so much, may you always rest in peace my love.

I'm sorry Jose, I need to ask...I thought Kathy passed away from cancer. Did golden boy do something physically harmful to her?

Golden boy as you call him, for months mentally destroyed her, one day he was happy, everything would be fine, then the next, your a bitch I don't love you. I have it all written down, what this man did to her, this piece of crap, that calls himself a good Catholic, goes to church, he needs to go to church to ask God to forgive him for his part in driving her crazy.

I won't say anything further, I get too upset. This past weekend I was in NJ for a celebration of her life, we had a two day event in Northern NJ, friends/family and entertainment groups came together to remember.

Today I was looking for some old contracts that were for my Angels group, I couldn't remember something so off I went to the storage bin, box after box of everything. She was great for saving papers, e-mails, contacts. It was cool here in Florida today, mid 70's so I took a seat and was going through these boxes, and I found e-mails from Johnny boy, like I said she saved everything (just in case) as she always put it, I'm reading this stuff and I'm thinking either he really loved her, or he was spouting what he thought she wanted to hear. I still till this day, can't understand what the heck was in his mind....would he have left his wife of 40+ years, how were they going to be together? He was in NJ, she was here in FL. Here's a short paragraph of what he was saying to her......was it the truth or was it all a lie? I'll never know because the gutless wonder won't admit to anyone that he destroyed her, at least I was man enough to own up to what I did to her and she forgave me, if only he would have told her what was wrong. I hope he reads this and realizes that she would have done anything for him....she was his soulmate, thats all she ever wanted. John wrote in 7/2002

I am happy that you looked back and found the gentle, beautiful, way we fell in love......It was a treasure.......If you look further into these love letters you will see whereat that time we agreed the road would not be smooth andstraight .... this road would be full of pitfalls and twists and turns,,, also with no guarantee as to how the end would look.......yet we embarked and tried to wend our way along our crazy road......We pledged ourselvesto each other vowing never to hurt or be unfaithful to each other....Yes, I remember.... don't ever destroy those words....I wish they we as fresh today as they were then.....

Is he good or what? Bullsh*ter or not, its too late for her, too late for me........John I hope you enjoy "your" life, you destroyed hers, I hope every time you look at that ugly wife of yours, you remember what you gave up, I hope your happy.